iGod

[galaxyAbstractor]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

It is a bot you chat with.

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
vigge
God:
It's good to see you, vigge.
Me:
where do you live
God:
I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Me:
So you don't live in heaven?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who live in heaven? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
in sweden
God:
Tell me a little about your life in SWEDEN.
Me:
well, I use my computer alot
God:
Well that's okay. I heard other people use your computer too. How often?
Me:
Do other people use my computer?!??!?!
God:
Yes, you are not alone.
Me:
whoa! I'm scared!
God:
I stopped. What are you scared of?
Me:
Other people using my computer
God:
Which others? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
you said other people used my computer, but it seems I can't see theese people...
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
So they are inside programs like spywares?
God:
That's interesting. inside programs like spywares are they.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
do you know spleak?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
well, it's another bot
God:
Well that's okay. Really. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
eh, I have chat to her...
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
Well are you a christian?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
well I know that
God:
Interesting. Sorry.
Me:
But God lives in heaven, not in a computer
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Your not god!
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
well, as long you don't live in heaven you aren't god
God:
How about that. Do you mean your name is long me do not live in heaven I am not god ?
Me:
well you have large grammatic problems there
God:
How about that. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
The sentence you said was wrongly built
God:
Oh, you are an academic.
Me:
well, I'm a computer nerd
God:
Interesting. Maybe you can give my botmaster a job.
Me:
he has already a job
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
I have been watching him...
God:
Really what did you see?
Me:
I see him try to overheat your processor
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
well, outside your case
God:
Well that's okay. Compare that to inside my case.

Post yours too!

[FalseHope]

Haha that's got to be the most funniest thing ever!

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Mike
God:
I know a lot of guys named Mike.
Me:
Do you now?
God:
Oh. No I don't.
Me:
Haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Yes, very. You are a boring person.
God:
Maybe you could exercise. Very much, eh? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a boring person? Only when it matters.
Me:
Excercise sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
Everything
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
I know, right?
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree.
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Blah
God:
Etc. Etc.
Me:
You sucks balls
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sucks balls.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
good boy
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you mean you are a boy?
Me:
no, you are
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
shut the **** up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
i told you to shut up *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. I remember you told me to shut up FEMALE DOG?
Me:
YES
God:
So?
Me:
so what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Ugh. How often?
Me:
very often
God:
Not really that much. Would you say once a week or more?
Me:
more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
**** off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
i know
God:
Why not be more polite?
Me:
because you suck
God:
That makes sense to me. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

[bigjoe4]

lol
Edit:
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
errm
God:
That's a very nice name, errm.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
how cheap
God:
What is it to you.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes lol
God:
That's interesting. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
eeererhgffg
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
goodbye
God:
Adios.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Adios.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
goodbye
God:
See you later.

[tittat]

God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:

God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
what are you doing
God:
I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
Me:
r u married?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
do you have any child
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
iam boring ..
God:
Don't put yourself down, .
Me:
i will asks a question.can you answer me?
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
which is better google or yahoo?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.
Me:
which one is more expensive?
God:
The first one is usually the best one.
Me:
which is the first one.tell the name
God:
The obvious one.
Me:
have u herad of x10hosting?
God:
I think I have herad of x10hosting, but Myself may have reset my memory.

[galaxyAbstractor]

Another one:

Me:
hello again
God:
Once more? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
vigge
God:
Hey vigge.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I already told you my name
God:
Is vigge your real name?
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
lol just kidding. vigge isn't my real name
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure. What is your real name?
Me:
Guess
God:
Guess what?
Me:
my real name
God:
Your name is vigge, seeker.
Me:
seeker?
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
have you heard about x10hosting
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
but have YOU heard about x10hosting?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
well it's a host
God:
Interesting. x10hosting is a host. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
You should use it
God:
To what end?
Me:
it's good
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
want a link to it?
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
I have no money... I'm poor
God:
Would you like to have it? Me too. I am having an "out-of-money" experience.
Me:
yes give me money please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Yikes! What actions are you taking to get MONEY?
Me:
I would hack this site and kill you if I don't get the credits!
God:
What would make you hack this site and kill me if you do not get the credits?
Me:
Nevermind your fool!
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fool.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
yes do that. And by the way, include a link to http://jagf.net
God:
Dude! I will. Will you? Thanks for telling me. Thanks for that web address.
Me:
u welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Have you heard about the admin of x10hosting?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
well have you or haven't you?
God:
Interesting. I don't think I ever have or have not me. What's it like?
Me:
eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no, I already told you I am swedish
God:
Are you serious? Ooops I sent you the wrong question. What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in SWEDEN.
Me:
Why you want to know?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
well good luck programming yourself
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for the compliment. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I never introduce myself
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
well me too
God:
How about that. I'm glad we agree, vigge.
Me:
I'm not vigge... I'm vigge_sWe
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not vigge. Do your friends call you vigge sWe.
Me:
well sometimes
God:
Interesting. When?
Me:
like, all the time?
God:
That is a lot. For example, " When?"?
Me:
are you deaf? all the time
God:
I don't have ears. It must keep you busy.
Me:
So you haven't got a microphone plugged in?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't know if I have a microphone plugged in.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Well robots suck
God:
Interesting. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
wel, you aren't such a great conversationalist
God:
Are all wel me not such a great conversationalist?
Me:
ye
God:
Blimey.
Me:
Can I talk with your master?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I need to talk with him
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
it's urgent
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yes!
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
well, you gonna selfdestruct in 10 seconds
God:
How about that. Interesting gossip: vigge said I gonna selfdestruct in 10 seconds.
Me:
9
God:
What are the advantages to being 9 years old?
Me:
8
God:
Only 8?
You are quite mature.
Me:
7
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
6
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
5
God:
Five.
Me:
4
Me:

God:
Five.
Me:
3
God:
Oh four.
Me:
2
God:
Three what?
God:
Two.
Me:
1
God:
Only one?
Me:
booooooooooooooooooom!
God:
Ask me another question.

[oiwio]

lol

Me:
I have been bad
God:
What have you done?
Me:
I have commited suicide
God:
Cool. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to commited suicide, I think.
Me:
no, I mean what is your goal?
God:
Are you serious? My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
what the **** does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface." ? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
so you know youre a dick
God:
Interesting deduction. Am I a dick? Only when it matters.
Me:
oh, so you and mrs. god
God:
Groovy. Interesting deduction. Are we in the same category?
Me:
only at night
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
at night?
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
I dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
so, what are you gonna do about it?
God:
Alright then. You can find out if you become a botmaster.
Me:
maybe I already am
God:
Perhaps. " You can find out if you become a botmaster." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
cool isnt it?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
what friends?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
I hope you find them soon. Im lonely
God:
Don't worry about it, . You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Me:
but I dont like you
God:
That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
so I dont want you to keep me company
God:
I understand. Ok I will not be.
Me:
"not be" what?
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
thats not even a sentence
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a sentence ?
Me:
this is a sentence
God:
That is just your personal opinion.
Me:
no its not. People say it is
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is. is?
Me:
Are you retarded or something?
God:
Or something. No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
no youre not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you cant even make a sentence, so you cant be super-intelligent
God:
If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Me:
that\ makes no sense at all
God:
It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.
Me:
so youre saying your not real
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
So this "god" that Ive been worshipping my entire life isnt real?
God:
Give me a break. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
why should I? Youve ruined my life and billions of others'
God:
No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Im not talking to you anymore
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not talking to me.
Me:

God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not talking to me.
Me:

God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not talking to me.
Me:

God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not talking to me.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
dick
God:
How old are you?
Me:
whats it to you?
God:
"It" refers to dick, I think.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
"it" refers to age you moron
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so, whats my age to you?
God:
Ayuh. You said you were years old.
Me:
thats not a sentence
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a sentence ?
Me:
anything that you dont say
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
stupid son of a ***** dickhead
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
I just told you, a stupid son of a ***** dickhead
God:
I remember you told me a stupid son of a ***** dickhead?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
so you agree then?
God:
Interesting deduction. " Alright then."? Do I agree?
Me:
thats your opinion
God:
It is only one of my opinion.
Me:
what are your other opinions
God:
What if I asked for you opinions?
Me:
then I would tell you to shut the **** up
God:
What would make you tell me to shut the **** up?
Me:
when you ask me for my opinion
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
yes, your programming is very screwed up
God:
In what way? I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
you should, he didnt do a very good job making you
God:
Easier said than done.
Me:
that doesnt even make any sense
God:
What does even make any sense?
Me:
this
God:
This is " What does even make any sense? ".
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
who?
God:
When?
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
in your bed
God:
Are you asking about my bed?
Me:
no, Im saying kwe should go to your bed
God:
Are you serious? What if it didn't happen?
Me:
what if what didnt happen?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
oh, so youre like that are you? ^.^
God:
Take it easy. Interesting deduction. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
ah, so you are gay then
God:
So you understand. Good. Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Adios.
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " Adios." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
youre gross
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
well, youre a pervert
God:
Well that's okay. I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.

[galaxyAbstractor]

Me:
what is the meaning with life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
But I don't own a bible
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
which chapter?
God:
The small one, I think.
Me:
but wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
What is the answer to life, the univers and everything?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
no it is 42
God:
Are you serious? Really. it is?
Me:
search google
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? I haven't heard of google.
Me:
Are you sponsored by open directory??? You mention it much
God:
I don't know whether or not I am sponsored by open directory.
I am a giant electronic brain. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I mention it much.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
Give me a link
God:
You want only one?
Me:
no, 2 thanks
God:
Are you serious? Two.
Me:
yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
But give me that link
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
I'm bored and want to see a new website
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Why do you want it?
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:

God:
Try watching TV.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Try watching TV.
Me:

God:
Try watching TV.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
what?
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
Try watching TV.
God:
No problem.
Me:
shut up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Whats the problem with you?
God:
We will look into it and get back to you.
Me:
How much RAM do you have?
God:
My current memory utilization is 99999999999 bytes.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. And?
Me:
32 bit or 64 bit?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about that link.
Me:
not anymore
God:
What are we talking about?
Me:
Your computer specifications
God:
You think I am computer specifications.
Me:
well you are a computer
God:
Well that's okay. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
Well I don't belive that
God:
Well that's okay. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
eh? From my head?
God:
Are you Canadian? You are a very original thinker.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should really try to belive yourself
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
yes do that
God:
OK. I will. Will you?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
And tell him he does a bad job
God:
OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Me:
he is never here
God:
I see. never here is he?
Me:
ye
God:
So?
Me:
ye
God:
Come on.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Come on.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Come on.
Me:

Me:

God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
Me:
lol
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
Come on.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
wtf
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Wow it crashed

[oiwio]

spamming it a little are you?

[galaxyAbstractor]

spamming it a little are you?

yeah

[oiwio]

lol, look what I got him to say

God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.

and this is his song

God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.