Good Joke

[jahought]

Renee Descartes walked into a bar. Bar tended offered him a drink, to which Descartes replies "I think not." And he disappeared.

[reichiru]

That took me a while to get it, but I understand it now. I don't think it's that funny.

[ichwar]

uhh, I didn't get that. was that supposed to be a joke or something???

ok, I think I have a better one:

The CEO of KFC goes to the pope one day and offers him $1 million to change the Lord's prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' The pope refuses.
The next day, the CEO offers the pope $10 million. Again, the pope refused.
The third day, the CEO offered the pope $20 million. This time, the pope accepts.
The next day, the pope calls a meetting with all his roman catholic officals. When everyone has gathered, he says to them: "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that we are getting a check for $20 million. The bad news is that we lost our Wonder Bread contract."

[Kayos]

uhh, I didn't get that. was that supposed to be a joke or something???

ok, I think I have a better one:

The CEO of KFC goes to the pope one day and offers him $1 million to change the Lord's prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' The pope refuses.
The next day, the CEO offers the pope $10 million. Again, the pope refused.
The third day, the CEO offered the pope $20 million. This time, the pope accepts.
The next day, the pope calls a meetting with all his roman catholic officals. When everyone has gathered, he says to them: "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that we are getting a check for $20 million. The bad news is that we lost our Wonder Bread contract."

lol, that's a good joke.

The original joke pretty much alludes me.


Here's a joke:

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say.

“You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

[tridge]

I don't get the "Good Joke" part of that sentence..I don't even know who Renee Descartes is and I also don't know why having being asked for a drink would make whoever Renee Descartes is disappear.

Please explain.

Okay... He has been dubbed the "Father of Modern Philosophy", what does this have to do with a drink in a bar?

[ichwar]

lol, that's a good joke.

The original joke pretty much alludes me.


Here's a joke:

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say.

“You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

Nice joke.

Here's another one:
A bus load of politicians is driving down a country road one day, when it all of a sudden swerves off the road and crashes into a barn.
The farmer working in the field comes over to see what happened. After assessing the situation, he buries everyone and cleans up the mess.
The next day, a sherrif stops by and asked the farmer if he knows where all the politicians went off to.
The farmer told him what had happened the day before.
The sherrif said, "wow, were they all dead?"
The farmer replied: "well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how those crooked politicians lie.":laugh:

[tonyopen]

I like the Descartes joke

[ichwar]

lol, nice ichwar.

Mozart Beyond the Grave
from Joke of the Day
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
Edit:
No, wait, I got a better one:

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
from Joke of the Day

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Nice, fahad, I really really liked the first one!

Here's another one:

Dick Cheney walked into the oval office one day to hear Bush hollering a hooting. He said, 'Mr. President, what's the matter?'
Bush said, that puzzle said 3-5 years on the box, but I finished it in less than two months!
Edit:
Alright, I've got a suggestion. Let's see who's the first person to run out of jokes. If you post a joke in this thread, you're in. If 10 posts go by with out you posting a joke, you're out!
Any one who wants to try this, just start posting! And we'll see what happens.
Edit:
So, I'll start:

A doctor, a lawyer, and a pastor, go out hunting together one day.
As they're walking through the woods, they all three see a deer, they all raise their guns, and they all fire at the exact same moment. And the deer drops down dead. Then, they get to arguing over which persons bullet killed the deer.
The doctor says: "I know a bit about animals, so I'll go over and examine the deer and I'll tell you what I find."
He walks over and examines the deer, then comes back and reports that it was the pastor's bullet that killed the deer.
The lawyer angrily asks how he could possibly tell that.
The doctor says: "Because the bullet went in one ear and out the other."

[woiwky]

Alright, I've got a suggestion. Let's see who's the first person to run out of jokes. If you post a joke in this thread, you're in. If 10 posts go by with out you posting a joke, you're out!
Any one who wants to try this, just start posting! And we'll see what happens.

Not to let a good idea go to waste, I'll continue it.

This is one of my favorites:

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart for Christmas, but they had not been dating very long. After careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to the store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked very sharp. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night."

All my love.

P.S- it is the latest trend to wear them a bit rolled up as to show a little fur!