With the help of lemon-tree, I've figured it out.
Code:
DirectoryIndex index
Options +FollowSymLinks
RewriteEngine on
RewriteRule ^index.php$ /vizoxidy/index [R]
<FilesMatch index>
ForceType application/x-httpd-php
</FilesMatch>
Copied index.php to index (and deleted index.php)
Then set it to force a particular MIME type to certain files.
Next, we redirected index.php to index.
Then we added a DocumentRoot.
And finally, I went to go rub it in #httpd's face.. but I forgot I was banned from that channel. =/